How I Got Into This Mess Part 1

My initial article explained the dire situation I am currently in but not how I got here. My readers deserve to know how all this came to be if there is some understanding to come out of all this.

I graduated high school in 1987 amidst a very difficult family situation. My parents were going through what seemed to be an impending divorce. At the time and in retrospect the divorce was the best thing for my family - my father didn't agree since he was the one at fault at every turn. He made it miserable for everyone, using every mental and emotional tactic he could to remain with little care for what was best for everyone. His tearful and at times suicidal pleas eventually won out, not because he was redeemable, but because he wore my brothers and my mother down. I wanted him gone for many reasons and eventually, a decade later, his unrelenting, abusive and childish behaviors would lead to a divorce and excommunication from the family, all of his own choice.

During the family drama of the summer of 1987, I was preparing for college. While other post high school teens were living it up with friends in social bliss I was suffering with immense anxiety of where I might end up living and how I was going to pay for college. I was certainly not in a good place to make such decisions and parental support was nonexistent. It was a terrible time to make such a big decision.

Now to understand everything that was going on in my head at 18yrs old you should know that my father had always promised to pay for college if I did well in school. With few exceptions, I earned straight As in high school so I had some expectation that this promise would be kept. However, my father was notorious over the years for speaking beyond his true word ending ultimately in statements that became lies. That's the nicest way I can put it but the name 'Liar' is what fills my mind. As the summer of 1987 came to an end it became clear there would be no money for college.

To make matters worse, as the fall of 1987 approached and the divorce issue between my parents was inconveniently shelved, I found myself needing transportation to school. The 'new' version of my father gallantly offered his vehicle as a means, because his work schedule would place him on the job at later hours in the day, leaving his vehicle free for daytime commuting to school. That offer lasted until just weeks before classes at the University of Buffalo were to due to commence. Just like he had done so many times to me before in my life my father not only let me down but lied and put me in a terrible situation. I now had to find a car in a hurry because his would only be available for a few weeks into the school year. Once again I was in a bad place to make another big decision. With little money and minimal knowledge of cars I sought out to find a vehicle with help from my older brother and an uncle.

The car I ultimately purchased became reminiscent of the 1986 film The Money Pit starring Tom Hanks and Shelley Long. Almost immediately after purchasing a 1983 Dodge Omni TC3 the transmission went and the exhaust system fell off the car. There is more to this car horror story but I think the effect is there - when it rains it pours! All the money I had at the time as well as some borrowed money from my father (more on that later) went into repairing the vehicle. I was going to college broke, in a car not quite road worthy, with a family support structure that was mostly non-existent, and not a clue as to how all this was getting paid for.

So that's the place I was in when I first became a student at the University of Buffalo in 1987. Though I hate to use puns, please tune in next time for Part 2 of How I Got Into This Mess.